IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Read my sample answer for this question here.

#believe #show #films #impact #culture #sample
Films are the
important
Suggestion
most important
 way of entertainment. It is said by some individuals that people should see all
kind
Suggestion
kinds
 of international films in order to increase their knowledge
,
Accept space
,
 while others believe that it can have
adverse effect
Suggestion
adverse effects
an adverse effect
 on people
.
Accept space
.
In
this
 easy I will discuss both
side
Suggestion
sides
 of
argument
Suggestion
the argument
an argument
 in the aforementioned paragraphs
To begin
 with, when people will watch foreign
movies
Accept comma addition
movies, then
then
 they can get a chance to learn
new language
Suggestion
a new language
new languages
.
Accept space
.
This
 the reason that people watch English movies in order to increase their vocabulary and English speaking skills
.
Accept space
.
Another benefit of watching different movies is that
sometime
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 people
also
 get a chance to know about the history of any particular country and people can
also
 get to know about different food,
culture
, traditions of any country
.
Accept space
.
Those who have limited money can not visit other
countries so
Accept comma addition
countries, so
 through films they can get a chance to see
beautiful places
Suggestion
the beautiful places
 of the world.
On the other hand
, some people believe that watching foreign movies can have
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on
people specially
Accept comma addition
people, especially
people especially
 children because sometime in these movies some negative things like crime related issues are exaggerated and children follow those things from films. Another disadvantage is that when youngsters watch these films they follow different cultural like they try to copy the hairstyle and buy
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
 which are worn by celebrities in films which might have
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on the
culture
 of any country because children forget their
culture
. To recapitulate, I would like to write that people should watch foreign
films but
Accept comma addition
films, but
 they should not blindly follow western
culture
 and they must remember their roots.
Submitted by raman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: