Some people think that hard work and determination bring success. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?..........................................7

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While some people believe that wealth and attractive

appearance

Use synonyms

are the keys to

success

Use synonyms

, I am of the opinion that conscientiousness and resoluteness are more crucial to become an accomplished person. There are several reasons to believe that money and personal

appearance

Use synonyms

are important factors that contribute to a desired outcome.

Firstly

Linking Words

, people from affluent families seem to have access to better educational systems as well as potential relationships.

As a result

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, they are offered more opportunities to develop themselves and progress in their career.

For example

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, money enables them to study

abroad which

Accept comma addition

abroad, which

could be a plus point in their resume and make them an outstanding candidate in the competitive labour market.

Secondly

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, in

this

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day and age, people tend to judge others by their

appearance

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or style.

Therefore

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, having a good-looking face or a confident body posture

are

Suggestion

increasingly vital on the way to

success

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, especially in some jobs that beauty is deemed

Suggestion

a top priority

such

Linking Words

as entertainment, fashion and so on.

On the other hand

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, it is a fact that not everyone is fortunate enough to be born

Suggestion

into

a wealthy family or possess a beautiful

appearance

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and it does not mean that they are inferior to others. Through hard work, we gain precious experience in almost every aspect of life.

For instance

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, a diligent student practicing several tasks and assignments is less likely to get the risk of repeating the same mistakes, which may lead to a higher score.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, major

success

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seldom comes without determination since it enables us to persist despites any hurdles and setbacks. An obvious case in point is Thomas Edison, who had conducted countless experiments and

also

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failed thousands of times before

finally

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inventing a working light bulb. In conclusion,

although

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things like money and

appearance

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do have an influence on personal achievement, I believe that they cannot rival hard work and perseverance on the way to

success

Use synonyms

AndyFri Aug 21 2020

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Some people think that hard work and determination bring success. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?..........................................7

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than repair existing items. Why do you think this is? How can this trend be reversed?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why is this be the case? Do you think this a positive or negative situation?