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Writing Samples
Band 7

The given bar charts illustrate the amount of money in million euros which MG Entertainment profited from divergent categories in three European nations in 1997 and 2007.

The given bar charts illustrate the amount of money in million euros which MG Entertainment profited from divergent categories in three European nations in 1997 and 2007.
The given bar charts illustrate the amount of money in
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
euros
Change preposition
of euros
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 which MG Entertainment profited from divergent categories in three European nations in 1997 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the company’s earnings generally declined over the period. To be specific, despite a decrease in the incomes from four fields including
CDs
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 bought from shops, cassettes, vinyl singles and LPs, those
of
Change preposition
apply
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Internet downloads and online
CDs
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 witnessed a slight growth. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be seen that in 1997, the profit from the German spending on purchasing
CDs
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 from shops was 45
million
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euros
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, followed by the French and Italian, at exactly € 25 and 20
million
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 respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
remainings
Fix the agreement mistake
remaining
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 accounted for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 small extent of profit with the figures being under € 15
million
Use synonyms
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 nations; especially, Internet downloads were hardly allocated for. Over the period,
although
Linking Words
 the earnings from shop
CDs
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 in German, France, and Italy fell dramatically to about 25, 15, and 12 billion
euros
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 each in 2007, online
CDs
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 and Internet downloads witnessed an opposite pattern with a slight increase in the figure to approximately 5
million
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euros
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 on average. In general, the two remaining sections were loss-making.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, euros, cds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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