Some people think that hard work and determination bring success. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #work #determination #success #factors #money #appearance

People tend to hold differing views about hard work and determination are the key factors for success. While some think, others, myself included, place

more important

Suggestion

more importance

money

and smart appearances. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why the public should embrace the idea of the dedication to work hard is essential to earn a living and raise a family.

First

this

is true in terms of employment, because most jobs impose a heavy workload on employees. Even occupations

such

as serving customers in stores, supermarkets, offering minimum wage, no job prospects and no promotion opportunities demand working diligently.

Second

, from the perspective of life outside work, simply supporting a family involves commitments and a lot of efforts to maintain a close-knit nest.

Such

parental involvement is the basic of preparing their children to enter adult life and pursue

successful career

Suggestion

successful careers

a successful career

On the other hand

money

and outward looking is believed to be valued in the modern world. The logic behind

this

is people are increasingly judged by their wealth or smart and fashionable clothes. Without

money

, it is impossible for those who think about running their own business or developing contacts with rich and influential

enterpreneurs

someone who organizes a business venture and assumes the risk for it

entrepreneurs

who can help them get off the ground.

Furthermore

, if individuals have

money

, designer clothes and celebrity status advertise their success to others. Most aspiring firms, entertainment-based stars with limited-means or plain-looking,

for example

, do not achieve their dreams, and are considered as failures by society. In conclusion,

although

diligence plays a crucial role in getting

a head

at or in the front

ahead

in life, higher-budget and gorgeous image are must not be underestimated. In my opinion, the latter is the most optimal.

Submitted by Andy on Wed Aug 26 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that hard work and determination bring success. Others think other factors such as money and good appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Your opinion

In order to solve traffic problems, the government should tax private car owners heavily use their money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

discuss the advantage and disadvantage of following the same diet daily or on regular basis

Some people tend to buy products or get services instantly, without waiting. Why is it happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?