IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Tradition
Use synonyms
 is the virtual values that had been pass through generation, from the oldest to the youngest. Some people think that
y
Add an article
the
show examples
oung generation should follow the traditional values. Meanwhiles, others argue that they need to have a
free style
Correct your spelling
freestyle
show examples
 of behaviour. From my perspective.
Although
Linking Words
 having the freestyle of behaviour is one of the best way to adapt with modern environment,
preservating
Correct your spelling
preserving
preservation
 and following the
tradition
Use synonyms
 values can teach a well-mannered
lesson
Use synonyms
 for individuals On the one hand, the
tradition
Use synonyms
 is the old
lesson
Use synonyms
 and experience from the previous people earned and improved so it has it owns moral advantages. To be specific, these values can bring a source of manner
lesson
Use synonyms
 and teach you how to have well-behaved to other people.
For example
Linking Words
, in my country, children from 3 years old are taught to respect other people from the older to younger ones.
This
Linking Words
 will make a strong connection in their family and
also
Linking Words
 in their social life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people argue that children should be free to behave.
This
Linking Words
 is because
y
Add an article
the
show examples
oung generation is living in the modern world which is surrounding by technology and science,
this
Linking Words
 completely different from the previous time and ancient people, so the old culture and outdated
tradition
Use synonyms
 will not suitable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if the children follow the
Use synonyms
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 way too much, it can be hard for them to adapt
with
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
 environment.
For example
Linking Words
,
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
, children are more flexible with technology lead to gain knowledge about the world and adapt
with
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the change easily than the previous people. In conclusion. the young need to make a decision and have a freestyle in behaviour. Traditional values can give them
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 good
lesson
Use synonyms
 about manner but they should collect what is the ones suitable
with
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 them and
stituation
Correct your spelling
situation

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Sense of identity
  • Cultural background
  • Community unity
  • Formative years
  • Significant meanings
  • Passed down
  • Creativity and innovation
  • New ideas and perspectives
  • Societal progress
  • Personal growth
  • Self-discovery
  • Outdated or irrelevant
  • Adhering to traditions
  • Meaningful and relevant
What to do next:
Look at other essays: