It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #society

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Nowadays,Our generation tends to postpone marriage until after the

age

Use synonyms

of 30.

As a result

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,some people try to encourage others to get married early saying

this

Linking Words

will be more beneficial to both themselves and society .From my perspective,I disagree with

this

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idea.In the following paragraphs,the reasons to support my view will be presented.

To begin

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with,there is scientific research proving that the earlier

age

Use synonyms

you are pregnant,the less chance your children have Down's syndrome disease.

In other words

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,After

maternal

Correct article usage

the maternal

show examples

age

Use synonyms

of 35,the percentage of

this

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will increase exponentially.

However

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,with advanced medical knowledge,we can forecast the possibility by prenatal ultrasound and mothers will have a choice whether or not to terminate if their children have a disability.

Moreover

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,with artificial insemination, we can now select a fetus that does not have a chromosomal problem.

Additionally

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,Each individual has their own conditions which are unique and cannot be compared to others.

Thus

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,by saying getting married before

age

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30 is an impossible task.People should get married whenever they have the capability and responsibility to take care of their family without the support from their family.As you can see teenage pregnancy has become a major problem in society. Babies who are born with incompetent mothers tend to cause criminality

due to

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a lack of attention and a good education.As for each person being forced to do

this

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makes them feel pressure

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and anxiety and

finally

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end up with the wrong person. To summarize,Individuals should have their own choice and live life at their own pace.If society manipulates them even with personal issues like marriage questions,it will cause drawbacks rather than benefits.

Submitted by chawanat.pla on Thu Oct 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You could use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

In your examples, try to provide specific evidence or experiences to support your arguments. This will help make your points more persuasive.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.

supported main points

The main points in your essay are well-supported with logical reasoning.

complete response

You have addressed the task thoroughly, making sure you cover both the individual and societal perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fertility
Maternal health
Psychological stability
Social maturity
Economic benefits
Shared responsibilities
Ancestral customs
Cultural imperatives
Personal development
Career establishment
Societal norms
Lifestyle choices
Divorce rates
Life decisions
Subjective wellbeing

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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?