It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,Our generation tends to postpone marriage until after the
age
of 30.
As a result
,some people try to encourage others to get married early saying
this
will be more beneficial to both themselves and society .From my perspective,I disagree with
this
idea.In the following paragraphs,the reasons to support my view will be presented.
To begin
with,there is scientific research proving that the earlier
age
you are pregnant,the less chance your children have Down's syndrome disease.
In other words
,After
maternal
Correct article usage
the maternal
show examples
age
of 35,the percentage of
this
will increase exponentially.
However
,with advanced medical knowledge,we can forecast the possibility by prenatal ultrasound and mothers will have a choice whether or not to terminate if their children have a disability.
Moreover
,with artificial insemination, we can now select a fetus that does not have a chromosomal problem.
Additionally
,Each individual has their own conditions which are unique and cannot be compared to others.
Thus
,by saying getting married before
age
30 is an impossible task.People should get married whenever they have the capability and responsibility to take care of their family without the support from their family.As you can see teenage pregnancy has become a major problem in society. Babies who are born with incompetent mothers tend to cause criminality
due to
a lack of attention and a good education.As for each person being forced to do
this
makes them feel pressure
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and anxiety and
finally
end up with the wrong person. To summarize,Individuals should have their own choice and live life at their own pace.If society manipulates them even with personal issues like marriage questions,it will cause drawbacks rather than benefits.
Submitted by chawanat.pla on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You could use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
In your examples, try to provide specific evidence or experiences to support your arguments. This will help make your points more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
supported main points
The main points in your essay are well-supported with logical reasoning.
complete response
You have addressed the task thoroughly, making sure you cover both the individual and societal perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fertility
  • Maternal health
  • Psychological stability
  • Social maturity
  • Economic benefits
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Ancestral customs
  • Cultural imperatives
  • Personal development
  • Career establishment
  • Societal norms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Divorce rates
  • Life decisions
  • Subjective wellbeing
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