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Band 7

THE GROWING NUMBER OF OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE IS PUTTING A STRAIN ON THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN AN EFFORT TO DEAL WITH THE HEALTH ISSUE INVOLVED. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE BESY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM IS TO INTRODUCE MORE PHYSICAL EDUCATION LESSIONS IN THE SCHOOL CURRICULUM. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #besy #education #lessions #school #curriculum
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It is the fact that a rise in the number of patients with obesity increasing considerably for a few decades due to the modern lifestyle.
This
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 issue has created pressure on the
health
Use synonyms
 care system to a certain extent to meet the current demands.
Hence
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, a group of people claims that adding physical training classes in a regular school syllabus will be the best option to mitigate the current problem. In my view, teaching a physical exercise to the school going students would be an excellent preventive measure as it removes unnecessary fat from our body and increases the intellectual quality of nurturing pupils as well. To commence with, being active physically since the younger age aids in burning excess cholesterol, because exercise requires a whole-body part to be involved that will inhibit the unhealthy fat accumulation in the body.
Consequently
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, when there is a lack of cholesterol in our body, the chances of being obese in the future will be none.
Hence
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, the strain on the
health
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 system will deteriorate related to the overweight.
In addition
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 to
this
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, doing physical exercise regularly
also
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 helps students to increase the concentration that enables them to achieve desire career goals.
For instance
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, a study has shown that the students who used to have a regular physical workout, tend to get higher scores in the exams due to sufficient concentration. In conclusion, to reduce the strain on the
health
Use synonyms
 care sectors, a daily workout is an effective measure that will diminish the burden on the
health
Use synonyms
 care which indirectly helps the government to strengthen the economy
further
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.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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