Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter explain why you are writing describe your circumstances ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enrol in the course

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Dear Smith, My name is Julie and I want to enrol in the Cloud Computing

course

Use synonyms

. I am writing to request you if you can make an exception for me because

this

Linking Words

course

Use synonyms

is listed only for the students who have done an elementary

course

Use synonyms

before. Actually, I was studying computer online on

udemy

Correct article usage

the udemy

show examples

academy website which offers online sessions about 20 hours per program. I have completed 4 courses and I am really familiar with the basic fundamentals of computers. So it will not be that difficult for me

learn

Fix the infinitive

to learn

show examples

this

Linking Words

course

Use synonyms

. I have been excited

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

the past three years for the development of the computer and I have found

this

Linking Words

computing development very interesting which will cover various subjects

such

Linking Words

as how to access computers, data analysis and data storage. I would really appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you will allow me to register for

this

Linking Words

program. I have worked as a computer assistant in one of the security

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

. I will look forward to your positive response. Best regards, Jaspreet

preetjass3333Sun Sep 06 2020

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

172 words

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