The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking.

#phone #places

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In contemporary society, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

are the main factor in life;

in other words

Linking Words

, it is normally used whether watching a video, reading a newspaper, or chatting with others;

for

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this

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reason, many argue that people who are using

phones

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all the time do not differ from people addicted smoking.

Therefore

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, some believe that smoking is banned in some places so telephones should be banned like smoking.

This

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essay will discuss both sides of the controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided. On the one hand, advocates of the usage of mobile

phones

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are as antisocial as smoking and it should be banned in certain areas. There is no denying that

phones

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play an important role in life as they spend a lot of time on

phones

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which makes it disadvantageous to them

such

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as eyesight, memory, and concentration.

Moreover

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, it

also

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decreases interaction with others like families and friends and

this

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especially happens to children.

For example

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, when a family have dinner, kids only focus on their mobile and do not talk with their parents.

For

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this

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reason, it can cause children to be shy or lack communication skills when they commute with others.

On the other hand

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, despite many negative effects, there are a number of positive aspects that cannot be ignored.

It is clear that

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some citizens have a lot of money in applications

such

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as K-bank, TrueMoney wallet, and other app banks.

Furthermore

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, there are several benefits of telephones

such

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as searching the information about the places in which you are. In conclusion, many think that mobiles should be limited somewhere like restaurants because they bring about antisocial troubles

such

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as smoking. In my view, we should use

phones

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at appropriate times and should not spend more time on nonsense apps like games.

Submitted by champperkhu on Thu Jan 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that main points are fully developed with specific and relevant examples, and that there is a clear position throughout the response.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical progression of ideas, ensuring clear and effective ordering of ideas and use of cohesive devices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

antisocial
social interactions
negative impacts
banning
regulated
completely banned
education
awareness campaigns
responsible
mobile phone use

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The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking.

Your opinion

In many countries, people think owning a home is more important than renting one.Why is this the case? Do you think it’s a positive or negative situation?

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Some people believe that homework is unnecessary and shoul be banned to school.