IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

In
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 present world, it's quite a tough task to remain healthy as there is an abundance of junk food availability.
However
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, there is a steep increase in the
people
Use synonyms
 who
workout
Use the right word
work out
show examples
 daily and avoid unhealthy meals to remain fit. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the purpose of
this
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 approach
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I will
also
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 suggest ways which can encourage others to follow the same.
Firstly
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, life is precious
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 humans need to take intense care of their
health
Use synonyms
 as much as possible for a better life. Eating the right
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 and exercising frequently helps humans
in building
Wrong verb form
build
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 a strong immune system.
Furthermore
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, strengthens muscles, keeps organs healthy,
protection
Replace the word
protects
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 from dangerous diseases, etc.
For example
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, in the monsoon season , several
people
Use synonyms
 fell ill
due to
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 viral fever
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 happens when the immune system is weak.
Hence
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, when a proper diet is consumed and apart from that
physical
Punctuation problem
, physical
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 training is practised regularly, it helps in keeping all the
health
Use synonyms
 issues away.
Secondly
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, there are still a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have bad eating
bad
Correct word choice
apply
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habits and do not train their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 as well.
As a result
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, they get affected by diseases like Hypertension, Diabetes, Thyroid, etc.
Therefore
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, to keep their
health
Use synonyms
 in check
measures
Punctuation problem
, measures
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 like free
health
Use synonyms
 camps should be organised
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 free
checkup's
Check wording
checkups
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.
In addition
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, doctors
through
Punctuation problem
, through
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seminars
Punctuation problem
seminars,
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 should try to motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to follow a healthy lifestyle.
Lastly
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, the government should ban foods which cause heavy damage to the human body. When
such
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 products are not available in the market,
people
Use synonyms
 will automatically shift towards a healthy meal.
To conclude
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, a healthy diet and workout are an essential part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they bring numerous benefits with them. The best way to avoid expensive medical bills is to follow these two habits. Innovation in the food industry is required
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can bring a change where the food remains healthy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the taste is maintained.

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task
Give more clear reasons and link them to the task. Add more specific examples to support points.
coherence
Make one idea into a separate paragraph and use easy bridge words to connect ideas.
language
Check grammar and word choice. Fix mistakes like 'checkup's' and repeat words.
structure
Clear plan with an opening and closing paragraph.
content
Shows effort to answer both parts of the task.
content
Some real life examples are given to back ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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