IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
The equal number of students in universities should be admitted in every subject. I agree with
this
 statement because I believe education is for everybody regardless what race, status and sex as well. Many people want equality in every aspect of our life is essential. If all university will receive an influx of
student
 whatever
gender
 they have
then
r
Add an article
the
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acism issue will be ruled out. Education is limitless as long as you are capable and able to
further
 your knowledge. Being a co-ed school will increase the diversity of every
student
 and
to
Change the verb form
apply
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meet different orientation in their daily lives.
Also
Add a comma
,
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student
 with different sexes could expand their experience on how to deal with different sexes. An example of
this
 was my previous college days where most of my friend are mixed
gender
. We have to have the ability to interact with them. Students must be exposed
in
Verify preposition usage
to
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 the reality of life
thus
 male and female are working together in one environment.
On the other hand
, being an exclusive school has
also
 a better alternative. Some
student
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more comfortable in
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 classmate because they have
s
Add an article
the
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ame personalities and styles. They are more discipline that those mixed
gender
 school. One studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
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 that pupils with
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 ambience are more boring than mixed
student
 because female are
more dull
Replace the words
duller
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 than male Male students are more adventurous than female. In conclusion, I suppose
u
Add an article
the
show examples
niversity should admit mixed
gender
 students so that they will be exposed
in
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the reality of life. Being able to
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
 with
d
Add an article
a
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iversity of people would make us feel good.
Submitted by rheoco_05 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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