Violence in media promotes violence in society. To what extend do you agree?

#violence #media #society

Technology is developing fast and it has certainly influenced the way people socialise. It is widely argued that individuals were more social in days gone by. I disagree with

this

opinion to a great extent. State-of-the-art technology has enabled people / us to connect with their / our friends and relations in several ways. They can not only place audio and video calls but

also

send text messages by installing a variety of social media applications for free. In the olden days, they used to get together on special occasions, whereas these days they can stay in touch through several online platforms. The best example of

this

is the surging popularity of social networking apps

such

as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

In addition

to maintaining contact with relatives, they can find people with similar interest online. It does not matter which country they live in or whether they know them or not. Numerous free online dating platforms have made

this

possible.

By contrast

, in the past, people only socialized with whom they know.

However

, it cannot be denied that these days people rarely meet face to face. Since they can share their feelings with one another and know the whereabouts of their friends and relatives by checking their social profiles, they have lost the inclination to physically get together at a place.

This

however

, does not mean that they have become less social. It is just that the way they socialize has changed. To conclude,

although

people do not mingle much in recent times, they certainly connect with both known and unknown people via social platforms.

Consequently

, I am of the opinion that advanced technology has made them more sociable

Submitted by uusmankhan2 on Sun Sep 13 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

280 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Violence in media promotes violence in society. To what extend do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

what should you do to restore and develop the traditional activities in your town?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?