IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your landlord has increased the amount of rent you pay every month and you don’t find it appropriate. Write a letter to the landlord and in your letter, Explain why you are writing Describe why you find the increase inappropriate What you want to do now--

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Hashemi, I am writing to let you know about the amount of
rent
Use synonyms
 you have increased from 500$ to 1200$, which is more than
regular
Correct article usage
the regular
show examples
rent
Use synonyms
 prices.
In addition
Linking Words
, I find it inappropriate in terms of the
rent
Use synonyms
 price and the facilities you offer me. As I am a university student, I consulted with my friends who
also
Linking Words
rented
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
 homes in
this
Linking Words
 area. They tell me their landlords have
risen
Verb problem
raised
show examples
 the amount of
rent
Use synonyms
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their landlords have provided them with high-quality internet
connection
Check wording
connections
show examples
 and kitchen appliances.
This
Linking Words
 has made me disappointed with the contract we signed. I was wondering if you could reconsider the
rent
Use synonyms
 price because I can not afford it. You can
also
Linking Words
 review the
rent
Use synonyms
 prices on online platforms, which can help you see the right prices.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if you do not want to reduce the price, let me know to find another home that suits
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my budget. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Mohammadreza Hadavi Bavil

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task response
Say more clearly why the new rent is not fair. For example, show how much it has gone up and compare it with homes like yours in the same area.
task response
Make your next step more direct. Ask for a new rent amount or ask to meet and talk about it before you decide to move.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, main part, and end. Use simple links such as “because”, “also”, and “if” to make the ideas move more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. In the second part, first talk about rent in the area, then talk about the home and what is not included.
coherence and cohesion
Use more natural word groups: “increased the rent from $500 to $1,200”, “raised the rent by 10%”, and “a home that fits my budget”.
task response
You answer all parts of the letter: you explain the problem, give reasons, and say what you want to happen next.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and right for a letter to a landlord. The letter is easy to follow, with clear paragraphs.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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