Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it would cause problems for younger people. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people have an opinion that a graduate starting their

career

will face many obstacles due to people who are allowed to work at their retirement age.

However

, I totally disagree with

this

point of view, because, a senior individual can coach young people with there experience and provide guidance to young individuals with their wisdom. We will discuss in the essay.

To begin

with,

firstly

, there is a greater chance of getting diverted from your goal in the early part of your

career

due to various reasons. These reasons can be tremendous competition in the corporate world, lack of self-belief, not having the required confidence. These situations can be resolved by having a mentor who has gained lots of experience in their

career

and is successful in their field.

For instance

, I have recently started my business in the field of construction, and I have an adviser who is running a 500 crores company, had helped me a lot to deal with difficulties in a much easier way.

Secondly

, rather seeing senior people as a competitor and an obstacle in your path of growth, these individuals can be seen as an asset where you can learn a lot from them.

That is

because, senior people can share their mistakes which they have done on their journey, which can help young individuals to guide in their job life. These will helps to stay on the right path and help not to commit the same mistakes.

For example

, it is always better to learn from other's mistake rather than trying to gain experience from your mistakes, because it will eat your precious time of

career

growth. In conclusion, individuals can be of real help who is greater than the age of 60, as they can help young individuals to create the right path as well as to guide young graduates with their wisdom.

Submitted by jay tank on Sun Sep 13 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it would cause problems for younger people. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?