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Band 7.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it would cause problems for younger people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age
Many people have an opinion that a graduate starting their
career
 will face many obstacles due to people who are allowed to work at their retirement age.
However
, I totally disagree with
this
 point of view, because, a senior individual can coach young people with there experience and provide guidance to young individuals with their wisdom. We will discuss in the essay.
To begin
 with,
firstly
, there is a greater chance of getting diverted from your goal in the early part of your
career
 due to various reasons. These reasons can be tremendous competition in the corporate world, lack of self-belief, not having the required confidence. These situations can be resolved by having a mentor who has gained lots of experience in their
career
 and is successful in their field.
For instance
, I have recently started my business in the field of construction, and I have an adviser who is running a 500 crores company, had helped me a lot to deal with difficulties in a much easier way.
Secondly
, rather seeing senior people as a competitor and an obstacle in your path of growth, these individuals can be seen as an asset where you can learn a lot from them.
That is
 because, senior people can share their mistakes which they have done on their journey, which can help young individuals to guide in their job life. These will helps to stay on the right path and help not to commit the same mistakes.
For example
, it is always better to learn from other's mistake rather than trying to gain experience from your mistakes, because it will eat your precious time of
career
 growth. In conclusion, individuals can be of real help who is greater than the age of 60, as they can help young individuals to create the right path as well as to guide young graduates with their wisdom.
Submitted by jay tank on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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