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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many countries on the world are developing their tourism. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #tourism #development
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These days, the travel
industry
 is developed and promoted all over the world. From my perspective, the benefits that accompany
this
 trend are more significant than the drawbacks. On the one hand, the negative effects caused by the expansion of
tourism
 cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
,
tourism
 could have an adverse impact on the environment. An increasing number of tourists can constantly add pressure to cleaning systems causing waste disposal problem. If
this
 waste is disposed of inappropriately, it may damage the area with the toxins,
then
 pose a threat to the local’s health.
Secondly
,
this
 growing
industry
 could bring about the destruction of nature and habitat loss. It is because new areas of land need to be cleared for new hotels and roads to accommodate more tourists.
As a result
, wild animals might lose their natural habitat and be pushed closer to the brink of extinction since they can find a suitable living environment.
On the other hand
,
although
 the adverse impact caused by
tourism
 is evident, I still think its benefits are more significant. One of the most obvious advantages is that
tourism
 can generate a massive amount of wealth.
Thus
, a country could have a more generous budget to invest in other key sectors
such
 as medical or education systems.
Therefore
, countries using
tourism
 as a source of income could
further
 develop and grow. Another benefit of
t
Add an article
the
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ravel
industry
 is the growth in the number of job opportunities in hotels and bars that are available for the local people. These jobs do not require many academic qualifications so it can serve as a
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
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 path for the underprivileged who cannot afford formal education. In conclusion, it is true that travel
industry
 creates both positive and negative impacts.
However
, I am of opinion that a country can still gain a lot of significant benefits from
this
industry
 as long as it is fully aware
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the potential threats.
Submitted by Andy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stimulate
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • conservation efforts
  • sustainable environment
  • over-reliance
  • economic vulnerability
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural erosion
  • income disparities
  • social tensions
  • consumer spending
  • infrastructure development
  • overuse of resources
  • natural habitats
  • cultural identity
  • global connections
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