IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that they are things individuals can do to help prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant that is government and large business can make a difference. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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With the urbanization and industrial growth in the twenty-first century, the problem of climate change has become a major challenge.Some folks believe that individual efforts are important to counter the threat of global warming
while
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 others argue that the steps taken by the state and business tycoons are the real game changer.
This
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 essay will discuss both arguments and give my opinion that it is the shared responsibility of people and the government to combat climate hazards. On the one hand, there are things that the populace can do on their own to help prevent the adverse effects of pollution on the environment.
Firstly
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, if people start walking or cycling to their workplace and avoid using private vehicles,
this
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 will lead to a drastic reduction in their carbon footprints in the atmosphere.
For instance
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, whenever, I meet up with my friends, I decide to go to the nearest cafe so that everybody can reach there on foot.
In addition
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, the reduction of plastic bottles at home can
also
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 contribute to a decrease in environmental pollution.We tend to avoid bringing plastic bottles to our house to reduce the adverse effects of
such
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 least biodegradable products.
On the other hand
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, the executive has a pivotal role to play in the
overall
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 control of pollution by building better road infrastructure for public transport and limiting private vehicle use in the city centre.To illustrate,the Pakistani government has initiated a number of projects like Orange Train and Green Line to help reduce fuel emissions.
Moreover
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, if renewable sources for energy production are utilized by the commerce industry, the pollutants released by burning fossil fuels can be drastically reduced.In Denmark, a number of mega-companies are using solar plants for electricity generation to reduce their dependency on gas and fuel. ] In conclusion, to counter the menace of climate change,not only the state and businessman should play their role by building infrastructure and developing renewable sources of energy but
also
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 the individuals should participate by using less private vehicles and avoiding plastic materials at their homes.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical flow, ensure each paragraph naturally leads to the next. Try to use more transitional phrases such as 'Furthermore' or 'In contrast' to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure your main points are always directly related to the task. Both examples and arguments should align precisely with the topic of climate change.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in outlining and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant, specific examples to support your points, such as the Pakistani government initiatives and the use of solar plants in Denmark.
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