IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life in other planets some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money Addressing problems of public To what extent do you agree and disagree.

#government #money #life #planets #people
Nowadays, many countries are suffering from the extinction of animals due to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
human activities
such
 as deforestation, Urban development and hunting.
To begin
, the
first
 problem
spreadwide
Correct your spelling
spread wide
 is the Urban development which consists
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
an expending in building construction, factories... The number of people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing, lifestyle is demanding, and
accordingly
, more spaces are needed. The
second
 problem is deforestation, many countries are rich in big forests, which include a lot of animal habitats,
however
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
people are careless, cutting trees, selling wood for financial and trading purposes,
this
 problem leads the animals to leave the forest and look for another
peacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 location, but unfortunately, most of them died due to the climate changes.
In addition
 to the above, hunting is an additional cause
m
Add a pronoun
that
show examples
ay lead to the extinction of animals, especially if hunters
shooted
Correct your spelling
shot
show examples
 an animal considered an
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 one.
For example
, if Panda is one of the
extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 animals and should not be hunted. In my opinion,
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment should give more efforts to improve
l
Add an article
the
show examples
aw to reduce these causes, and create
resticted
Correct your spelling
restricted
 conditions for not allowing human to destroy forests, kill animals and push them to leave their habitats. Animals need to live in peace in their own spaces. As a
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, government and human should more be respectful to life conditions, have more responsibilities in taking care
on
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 animal life.
Submitted by nadinekmteirek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: