IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Population
 plays an important role in the development of a country. Especially having a large
number
 of young adults gives a definite advantage over the
number
 of older people. In my opinion,
although
 there can be drawbacks of having less
number
 of older people, I believe the disadvantages of having more young people are eclipsed by the benefits. Some people might say that having less
number
 of older people would mean to have less
number
 of experienced people, which can be an important factor in terms of development. Every work requires some sort of experience, which would be lacking in young adults.
For example
, while making a business deal, a young
person
 might not see the problems of the future that deal might cause to that
person
 but an older experienced
person
 would look and might not go forward with it.
Also
, the knowledge that an older
person
 holds will be much more than an inexperienced
person
. In short, Older persons might be important in some scenarios. In today's fast-growing world, we require young people so that the work can be done quickly. Young people are much faster and efficient as compared to old people and having more young
population
 is actually an advantage of any country.
For instance
, a young
person
 would easily take a risky decision which an old
person
 might not take. According to a survey by the Hindustan Times in September 2019, India's has 65% of its
population
 as a young adult, which is one of the important factors in its growth.
This
 essay has discussed both positives and negatives of having more young adult
population
. In conclusion, there are some problems of having more young adult
population
,
however
, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by prateek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: