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Band 6.5

student perform better in school when they are rewarder than punished. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

#student #school #rewarder
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while some people believe that punishment is helpful to improve children performance, others disagree,
also
 think that students can be very well if they receive a kind of rewarder, have you receive a certificate ? yes,something like
this
 can be great for the life, in that essay I'm going to show both points of view giving my opinion with examples.
first
. in my point of view, everybody like to hear words like motivation or something to feel better, in another wors, people that defend punishment, they use to say disrespect words and bad examples.
second
, we are in 2020, nowadays there is a lot of people with depression because they feel a lot of pressure on life, definitely punishment and pressure does not work.
on the other hand
,who think
that is
 the best way for students give an example like a homework, without fear children spend the time with a videogame or another thing with friend and neves focus on the activities from school,
however
 a recent study from oxford UK, show that students show a better development when they receive rewards.
finally
, in my view, is necessary to try dialogue and the best way for
this
 situation, without much pression, life can be better and beautiful
Submitted by willian.gomesdasilva on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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