You recently attended training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course Write a letter to your employer. In your letter - remind your employer what the course was about - explain why the course was useful to you in your work - suggest why the course may not be suitable for some your other colleagues
Dear Sir,
Last
week, I finally
finished my Master People Management course
which progressed during the first quarter at Harvard University. Therefore
, I writing to inform you to review the coursework.
First of all, this
course
was significantly helpful in managing my team members
. Before I learned about management skills, I did not know how to make proper decisions and lead our members
. After
this
course
, I have the confidence to communicate with team members
and they are also
satisfied with my changes.
However
, it was not appropriate for other employers who did not have a people management role. I understand that the company wanted to provide opportunities to all members
, however
, they considered it was waste of time and disturbed their work. Therefore
, if we have a chance to attend this
kind of course
again, it would be better to select only team leaders or people managers.
If you have any further
questions about this
coursework, please contact me.
Yours sincerely,
Minwoo ChunSubmitted by cmw9101 on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of the letter by fine-tuning awkward phrases. For instance, change “I writing to inform you to review the coursework” to “I'm writing to provide feedback on the coursework” for a smoother read.
coherence cohesion
Refine your topic sentences to succinctly introduce the main idea of each paragraph, which will further structure your writing logically and cohesively.
task achievement
The letter comprehensively addressed all parts of the task, explaining the course content, its benefits, and considering the suitability for other colleagues.
task achievement
The writer maintained a polite and formal tone throughout, suitable for addressing an employer.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite