You recently attended training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course Write a letter to your employer. In your letter - remind your employer what the course was about - explain why the course was useful to you in your work - suggest why the course may not be suitable for some your other colleagues

#course #work #employer #feedback #colleagues

Dear Sir,

Last

week, I

finally

finished my Master People Management

course

which progressed during the first quarter at Harvard University.

Therefore

, I writing to inform you to review the coursework. First of all,

this

course

was significantly helpful in managing my team

members

. Before I learned about management skills, I did not know how to make proper decisions and lead our

members

After

this

course

, I have the confidence to communicate with team

members

and they are

also

satisfied with my changes.

However

, it was not appropriate for other employers who did not have a people management role. I understand that the company wanted to provide opportunities to all

members

however

, they considered it was waste of time and disturbed their work.

Therefore

, if we have a chance to attend

this

kind of

course

again, it would be better to select only team leaders or people managers. If you have any

further

questions about

this

coursework, please contact me. Yours sincerely, Minwoo Chun

Submitted by cmw9101 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the clarity of the letter by fine-tuning awkward phrases. For instance, change “I writing to inform you to review the coursework” to “I'm writing to provide feedback on the coursework” for a smoother read.

coherence cohesion

Refine your topic sentences to succinctly introduce the main idea of each paragraph, which will further structure your writing logically and cohesively.

task achievement

The letter comprehensively addressed all parts of the task, explaining the course content, its benefits, and considering the suitability for other colleagues.

task achievement

The writer maintained a polite and formal tone throughout, suitable for addressing an employer.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

164 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Training program
Skill enhancement
Job responsibilities
Practical exercises
Hands-on experience
Operational efficiency
Subject matter
Prerequisites
Specialized knowledge
Teaching methodology
Learning preferences
Feedback
Course facilitator
Professional development
Engagement
Interactive components

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can the G do to address the problem? What can individuals do?

In some countries, it is now illegal for employers to reject job applicants because of their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Computer and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?