IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #money #arts
Government has used some of its
money
 on
art
. That might be the reason why some people think that the authority should spend the
money
 on something important. In my view, I agree with that statement.
Therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will explain the reasons why I support
this
 view.
First
 of all, it is public
money
, it is gathered from the citizens through taxes. As a government, they should determine which aspect that needs their support. I would not to say that
art
 is not important,
however
, there are other aspects that need to be fixed,
for example
, infrastructure. Why did I say that? Basically, infrastucture is the most essential part in a nation. It has to be built or fixed according to the need of
this
 country, if it failed, the activity in that country must paralyzed and it will affect other fields, especially nations' economic.
Secondly
,
art
 is just a part of human preference. It is not included in basic human needs like shelter, food, and accomodations. Thence,
art
 should be categorized as a hobby. Even though it is true that it can bring some indulgence for a group of people, but remember, anything that makes you happy but not what you need, it can not be called as a need.
For instance
: video games. In the end, it is only a complementery thing, which means it is not substantial to support the citizens' life. In conclusion, I really agree that the authority should not spend their
money
 more on
art
 because it is a hobby not a substatial matter,
instead
 of using it to some matter things,
such
 as infrastructure.
Submitted by michellina594 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: