IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It was predicted that people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

#people #st #century #time #prediction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Well,
this
Linking Words
 was estimated that the generation of the 21st centenary will have more spare moments as compared to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ancient generation.And,it was
also
Linking Words
 assumed in previous times that
people
Use synonyms
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be free from various duties in the coming century
due to
Linking Words
 formulations of techniques.To some extent,
this
Linking Words
 estimation comes true. First of all, it is a fact that
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and usage of timing have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century as compared to old times,
for instance
Linking Words
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 were doing their all tasks by
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hand because they did not have any man-made appliances to do their jobs like in many nations, all the household tasks they did by themselves because they did not have any electronic gadgets like washing machines for laundry, electronic gas-stoves, microwaves and oven, vacuum cleaners for cleaning and even they did not have private vehicles in the past to go here and there in the third world.But,when some countries
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started doing innovations to make devices to save time in different ways
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
were assuming
Wrong verb form
assumed
show examples
 that
populace
Correct article usage
the populace
show examples
 in the twenty-first centenary
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 get lots of leisure space,
thus
Linking Words
 in some ways
due to
Linking Words
developments
Correct article usage
the developments
show examples
 of so many types of machines,these are saving their priceless time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,it can not be neglected that even in the presence of those creations,
people
Use synonyms
 are getting very busy in their lives as
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more career-oriented,so they do not want to sit free in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and everybody wants to be independent.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
another reason for the hectic schedule is rising prices and
due to
Linking Words
 that they are used to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 more work to satisfy their basic and luxury needs.
That is
Linking Words
 why assumptions about free space in the twenty-first centenary are proved wrong from some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.Because,if they save their moments by using human-made machines
then
Linking Words
 they have to work more to buy those devices and vehicles.
Therefore
Linking Words
,there is another thing
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the internet and by using that
people
Use synonyms
 are keeping busy themselves by surfing websites and by doing chit-chat with their friends
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world all day and night. In the end,it can be said that
people
Use synonyms
 made estimations in the ancient days
due to
Linking Words
 the inventions of science but these originations are playing a significant role in keeping
people
Use synonyms
 busy and the Internet is one of the most important resources for their hectic schedule.Because of these
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
 estimations are not proving correct properly.
Submitted by preetjass3333 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Rephrase sentences to improve clarity and coherence. Ensure clear topic sentences and supporting points in each paragraph.
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided and relate them more closely to the topic. Ensure that all examples are relevant to the main task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: