IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars?

It is argued that the unlimited use of private
cars
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 creates several serious problems,
while
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 some
people
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 believe that discouraging car use is the only effective
solution
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. I agree that
cars
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 cause a range of environmental and social issues, but I think the
solution
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 should focus on improving clean transportation rather than simply restricting
people
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. The overuse of
cars
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 contributes to traffic congestion, air pollution and declining quality of life in cities. When more
people
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 rely on private vehicles, roads become overcrowded, leading to longer travel times and higher stress levels for commuters.
In addition
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, petrol-powered
cars
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 emit large amounts of carbon dioxide, which contributes to global warming and poor air quality. These problems not only damage the environment but
also
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 negatively affect public health.
However
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, discouraging
people
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 from driving is not realistic unless viable alternatives are offered. Governments can reduce the negative effects of car use by promoting affordable electric vehicles and investing in better public transport. Electric
cars
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 produce zero emissions and require less maintenance, which makes them a practical long-term
solution
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. At the same time, restrictions on petrol
cars
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 in city centres can be effective if public transport and cycling routes are easily accessible. In conclusion,
although
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 car overuse leads to significant environmental and social problems, simply discouraging
people
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 from driving is not enough. A combination of investment in clean technology and improved transport systems is a more sustainable
solution
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.

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task response
Keep a clear view in the opening line. Add more facts to back ideas.
coherence
Use more clear links between ideas so the flow is smooth.
content
Give simple examples, like numbers or plans, to back points.
vocabulary
Make sure words stay simple and short so all can see.
strength
Clear aim in intro and conclusion
coherence
Good use of link words to show contrast
content
Plan on clean transport is clear
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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