IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #planets #think #money
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Many people believe that human being may settle down in other planets.
Thus
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, more money should be allocated to
research
Use synonyms
 the space to find a suitable asteroid. I do not agree with the statement because the cost of researching is high and
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 other analysis can be more realistic to help improve human life. There is not a guaranteed result of a liveable planet in the universe.
Although
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 there is
u
Add an article
an
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nlimited number of planets, the cost of researching them is really high but the result is unpredicted.
For example
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, the
further
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 distance, the longer time it takes to reach there. It may take a few months to years to travel;
therefore
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, researches need to be conducted for decades. Combining
e
Add an article
an
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xploration of many planets, hundreds of years of
research
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 may not show any possible outcomes. A reason that people may want to live on another planet is because of overpopulation and lack of food.
However
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, there are many other types of
research
Use synonyms
s
Add a pronoun
that
show examples
hould be done in order to improve those aspects.
Firstly
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, researchers on improving agriculture may result in sustainable sources of food.
For example
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,
research
Use synonyms
 on growing meat may help sustain meat supply but
also
Linking Words
 reduce the number of cows or pigs grown.
Secondly
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, lighter construction material may help to build houses faster and cause less pollution.
Lastly
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,
s
Add an article
the
a
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maller but modern house may help
l
Add an article
the
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ow-income class to have access to housing by reducing the cost of owning a house. To conclude, researching other planets may be expensive and time-consuming.
Therefore
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending money
research
Use synonyms
 on life in other planets, we should focus on improving human life by more
research
Use synonyms
 on improving agriculture, materials or housing.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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