IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #education #work #car #mechanics #builders #society
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Nowadays it is common students finish their college and go straight to
univerity
Correct your spelling
university
 and
the
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apply
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most people strongly agree if it. While
,
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apply
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 some others believe
that is
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 more important for student
work
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 in places to serve the community
first
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. Personally, I strongly believe that students must go
Use synonyms
w
Add the particle
to
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ork to serve the society
first
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 and in
this
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 essay will discuss both points of views.
Firstly
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, the reason which some people after school the student must go through to university is to develop their acknowledgement quicker and more professional available.
For instance
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, some workplaces have a lack of professionals
such
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 as doctor and nurse, and for theses career, it is important the students start their study earlier to develop their knowledge faster and be able to
work
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. The Coronavirus was an example, some countries had to allow students to
work
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 in the hospital to help doctors and nurse because they did not have enough capacitive people.
On the other hand
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,
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get a job as
plummer
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Plummer
plumber
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 or mechanics is important to students have their time to think about what type jobe their really want to do and it helps the society
also
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. Some career
are
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is
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 becoming less attractive to youngers because it does not bring the status of a good job, and because
of
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apply
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it is difficult
f
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to
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ind professionals of these areas.
Furthermore
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, it is important for the younger think about which careers they are looking for exactly,
for instance
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 when someone studied for years as a lawyer and after that
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,
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he discovered that
work
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 as
a
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apply
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labour is what he likes to do. In conclusion, the lack of professionals in some areas of
Use synonyms
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 is one reason that some people said it is important students starter they study soon after school. Whereas, others, include me, defend that it is good for youngs have more different types of job to discover what career he
want
Change the verb form
wants
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s
Add the particle
to
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tudy.
Submitted by dandara.garcia on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • vocational training
  • skillset
  • employment landscape
  • economic contributions
  • hands-on experience
  • critical thinking skills
  • practical knowledge
  • tuition fees
  • trade professions
  • essential workforce
  • academic qualifications
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