Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

#life #improvements #health #people #age #sixty-five #lives #society #benefit #contribution

As we know, older citizens have been providing some enormous contributions throughout the whole generation. Meanwhile, the improvements made over the past couple of years regarding the heath of elder people encourage them to continue their lives in a more active way.

This

essay will certainly discuss older citizens make some remarkable contributions to our community by sharing their knowledge and

also

they can be used as a motivational tool.

Firstly

, older people can share their enormous knowledge from their past experiences. And

also

, it can be used for rectifying mistakes.

For example

, my grandfather was a very renowned software engineer in his days and I am

also

an IT engineer. So, whenever I face huge challenges regarding software development, I ask him to help me with that particular problem. On a surprising note, he is still enthusiastic and capable enough to identify and solve my problems sometimes.

Secondly

, elder people can

also

be useful as being a motivational tool for our society.

In addition

to that, it

also

facilitates achieving our goals. To clarify more, in my college days, we had to attend motivational sessions once a month, where an older teacher used to give some motivational speeches which were really helpful to get proper or to achieve certain targets for our upcoming future. In conclusion, elder people are one of the most essential assets in our modern era.

This

essay clearly elaborates clearly that not only older people share their knowledge but

also

can be used as a motivational tool; both are beneficial contributions to our social life. In the future, employers must appoint older people in specific areas for the benefits of our society so that we could leverage more of their crucial attributes.

Submitted by jayz.3382 on Fri Oct 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The advantages brought by the spread of English as a global language will outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

computers are being used more and more in education. Some peole say that this is aposetivr trend, while others argue that it leading to negeative consequenc. Discuss both sides of this argument and given your own opinion.