IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to make people use cars less is make them pay a road toll on busy roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write about 250 words.

#people #cars #road #toll #roads
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a
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contemporary society, governments have been taking a variety of measures to encourage
people
 to use cars less. Some
people
 claim that imposing tolls on
roads
 in heavy traffic can be the best way to reduce their
car
 usage. I strongly support
this
 idea from the environmental and psychological perspectives. Examining the former standpoint
to
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, to
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 begin with, the reduction in
amount
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the amount
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 of traffic on busy
roads
due to
 implementing a
road
 toll can be a contributor to mitigating the situation of the present serious air pollution. In fact, there is substantial scientific evidence that backs up the proposition that the energy consumption efficiency of vehicles deteriorates on a
road
 with heavy traffic, which is one of the major factors of pollutants emitted by them.
Therefore
, if individuals avoid busy
roads
 because of
road
 tolls, they can become more environmentally friendly. Shifting
focus
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 to the latter standpoint,
people
 will try to avoid passing through busy streets if a
road
 toll is implemented because they potentially have a psychological tendency to try to avoid even small expenses.
For example
, many countries have abolished free plastic bags service in shops. Even though each bag costs consumers a little, many of them quit purchasing the bags and
instead
, they now bring their own eco-bags. I believe that
this
 example can be applicable to the problem of
people
’s heavy
car
 usage.
Hence
, if a
road
 poll is not expensive, the psychological impact on
car
 users can be huge. To reiterate,
although
 it would be challenging for governments to forbid
people
 from using cars, I am firmly convinced that imposing tolls on busy
roads
 is the most effective strategy to alleviate
people
’s
car
 usage in terms of the environment and psychology.
Submitted by T Shiro on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a clear and logical flow of ideas, effectively organized into paragraphs. To further enhance coherence, linking expressions can be used more variably to demonstrate relationship between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your response completely addresses the prompt with a clear position throughout. Expanding on the examples with more specific data or studies could provide extra depth to your arguments.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion that neatly bookend your arguments, effectively framing your discussion.
Supported Main Points
You've successfully developed your main points with supporting arguments, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of a relevant example from countries' practices about plastic bags effectively illustrates your argument, enhancing engagement and clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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