IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best way to make people use cars less is make them pay a road toll on busy roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Write about 250 words.

#people #cars #road #toll #roads
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a
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contemporary society, governments have been taking a variety of measures to encourage
people
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 to use cars less. Some
people
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 claim that imposing tolls on
roads
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 in heavy traffic can be the best way to reduce their
car
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 usage. I strongly support
this
Linking Words
 idea from the environmental and psychological perspectives. Examining the former standpoint
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to
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, to
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 begin with, the reduction in
amount
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the amount
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 of traffic on busy
roads
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due to
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 implementing a
road
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 toll can be a contributor to mitigating the situation of the present serious air pollution. In fact, there is substantial scientific evidence that backs up the proposition that the energy consumption efficiency of vehicles deteriorates on a
road
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 with heavy traffic, which is one of the major factors of pollutants emitted by them.
Therefore
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, if individuals avoid busy
roads
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 because of
road
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 tolls, they can become more environmentally friendly. Shifting
focus
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the focus
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 to the latter standpoint,
people
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 will try to avoid passing through busy streets if a
road
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 toll is implemented because they potentially have a psychological tendency to try to avoid even small expenses.
For example
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, many countries have abolished free plastic bags service in shops. Even though each bag costs consumers a little, many of them quit purchasing the bags and
instead
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, they now bring their own eco-bags. I believe that
this
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 example can be applicable to the problem of
people
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’s heavy
car
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 usage.
Hence
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, if a
road
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 poll is not expensive, the psychological impact on
car
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 users can be huge. To reiterate,
although
Linking Words
 it would be challenging for governments to forbid
people
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 from using cars, I am firmly convinced that imposing tolls on busy
roads
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 is the most effective strategy to alleviate
people
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’s
car
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 usage in terms of the environment and psychology.
Submitted by T Shiro on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a clear and logical flow of ideas, effectively organized into paragraphs. To further enhance coherence, linking expressions can be used more variably to demonstrate relationship between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your response completely addresses the prompt with a clear position throughout. Expanding on the examples with more specific data or studies could provide extra depth to your arguments.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion that neatly bookend your arguments, effectively framing your discussion.
Supported Main Points
You've successfully developed your main points with supporting arguments, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of a relevant example from countries' practices about plastic bags effectively illustrates your argument, enhancing engagement and clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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