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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #world
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In human society, we always depend on each other more or less. Some people would argue that nowadays, we are more independent than the past while others agree with the opposite. In my opinion, we are becoming more and more independent. On the one hand, modern and busy
life
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 makes us dependent on more tools and people around us.
Firstly
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, with the development of technology, we seem to be relying on the
help
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 of the platforms rather than doing everything all by ourselves.
This
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 means that people's ability to work independently is disappearing.
For example
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, taxi drivers no longer look for customers by themselves but rely on someone or technology platforms to connect them with their customers.
Secondly
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, people spend a lot of time at work which means they do not have enough time for their children. Because of
this
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, they need the
help
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 of grandparents or maids to take
care
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 of their children.
As a result
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, it seems like people depend on support from others for both their jobs and their personal
life
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.
On the other hand
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, I think that we are more independent with the
help
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 of tools and those around us. With the
help
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 of modern tools, we could focus on our expertise and ignore external issues. When we could let external issues go so we would to do our job well, we are becoming more independent.
For example
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, a taxi driver is completely focused on driving safely and obeying traffic laws, regardless of where to find customers with the
help
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 of the operators or apps.
Moreover
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, when our parents could
help
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 us to take
care
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 of our children so we can do our job better, we will have financial abilities to bring our relatives a joyful
life
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 and take
care
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 of their health. When we could
care
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 about those we love, it is the time we to become more independent. To sum up, while some of us say that we seem to be more dependent on each other, I believe that in modern
life
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, we got enough supports
that is
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 helping us to become more and more independent.
Submitted by Andy on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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