IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
In
this
 era of 2020, it is believed that the advertisement industry is able to convince a consumer to purchase a certain kind of product. While some disagree and argument that people have stopped paying attention to them. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both the scenarios and project my own perspective which stands slightly partial to the
first
 one.
To begin
 with,
firstly
, the main reason for people getting influenced to buy a specific type of things is that the information is provided by their favourite celebrity. Due to
this
 individuals try to imitate and desires to access whatever their ideals are using.
Conversely
, the others have
this
 complete opposite ideology because they think that there is an abundance of publicity available in the markets of various items. So, the masses are getting habitual slowly and steadily henceforth, they are getting a tendency to ignore.
Moreover
, with the wide exposure to the internet, humans are getting more and more aware of the reality of the companies.
Therefore
, the innocents are not falling into traps and multiple scams done by the industries. In my opinion, the display of different products affects the choice of consumer greatly. Usually, ads showcase detailed yet quick information about the stuff of a particular brand.
Hence
, it becomes quite efficient and easier for the customer to analyse and determine what he wants. To conclude, even though, the ad agencies are creating a strong audience for their items
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
however
, with the rise in competitors,
this
 industry is getting saturated
hence
, people are attaining more knowledge about the multiple options.
Submitted by gargmitesh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: