Many youngsters do unpaid work to help their local community,which benefits both themselves and society.Some people believe that all teenagers should thus be required to do unpaid work in their free time. Do you agree or disagree?
Many youths do voluntary
service
in their native places, which has a symbiotic type of benefits. According to
some people, this
should be made mandatory that all teens do unpaid jobs in their leisure
time
. This
short essay gives the reasons below, why this
statement needs to be disagreed on.
The very first reason for the statement to be unacceptable is, that teenagers do free service
in their leisure
time
, that they need leisure
time
to get recharged for their studies or work
. All the scientific studies prove that leisure
is an utmost requisite for health and well-being. For instance
; doing unpaid work
causes fatigue and can lead to stress-related issues for the individual and thus
productivity of the individual could be reduced, which ,in turn, is a loss to the community and the individual. So, making unpaid service
in free time
a mandatory thing could be a stupid idea.
Another thing is by letting adolescents do volunteer-ships, we are reducing job
opportunities. Such
practices can be misused by at least some people, which leads to abuse of these teens and a job
placement for them could be spoilt. For example
, there are a lot of nurses who did unpaid effort in local hospitals for experience, who shared experiences of modern slavery and they had to migrate to other countries. This
is a loss to the local community, as it invested a great deal to train them. Hence
, one can say that letting young people do unpaid work
compulsorily is futile.
However
, youths in their leisure
,who do free service
, gain experience in the industry. It can be considered as an add-on when they apply for a job
. The community also
gets the job
done without financial expenditure. For example
, many medical schools in the UK demand such
performance for admission to the medical schools and for the assignments after the course. Although
this
is an advantage, one can still say that the idea of volunteering is not a good choice.
To conclude
, it may be a viable option for adolescents must do unpaid work
in their free time
, but it has many downfalls because of the above-mentioned reasons. Leisure
is for recovery and needs to be fulfilled.Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and presents main points to support your argument. To enhance your score, it would be beneficial to provide a more balanced view by discussing some counter-arguments in a bit more detail.
coherence cohesion
Though your essay has a logical flow, transitioning between ideas could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices like ‘Moreover,’ ‘In contrast,’ etc., and ensuring each paragraph builds clearly on the previous one could help in achieving better cohesion.
grammar
There are minor grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing. Proofreading your essay for such issues and varying your sentence structure will improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is clearly linked to the topic, and the connection between ideas is well-explained. Adding a few more examples can make your arguments more compelling.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the arguments presented.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples which help to illustrate your main points. This strengthens your argument and shows your ability to apply ideas in a practical context.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates critical thinking and a clear understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?