IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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A lot of people believe that women should take more responsibility than men for growing children. Meanwhile, debaters argue that whether should focus more on raising children than their professional
life
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.
This
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 essay will certainly discuss that women should concentrate equally
both
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 on raising children as well as their working
life
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 because childcare and
career
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 are
both
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 important. On the one hand, women should take the responsibility of growing children as children have some valuable significance.
In addition
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 to that, Children can learn a lot of aspects regarding
life
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 from their mothers. To clarify more, children can learn a lot about communication as well as the culture and diversity of the society.
Also
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, these are so essential aspects to learn in childhood as these learnings provide a proper cornerstone for any children.
On the other hand
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, as
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c
Add an article
a
show examples
areer is one of the more important aspects
both
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 for men and women so, women should equally focus on their professional
life
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.
This
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 has a direct correlation of building a successful
career
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.
For example
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, if a working woman spends too much time on raising her child,
then
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 eventually she will destroy her
career
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. So, women should
also
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 spend time on building a prosperous
career
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 in the foreseeable future. In conclusion, raising children is one of the most important factors for
both
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 men and women.
This
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 essay elaborates that as
both
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career
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 and raising children have some remarkable significance, so women could concentrate equally on
both
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 of these aspects. In the future, it is important for women to learn how to balance out
both
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 of these above aspects.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • nurturing
  • empathy
  • sensitivity
  • maternal instinct
  • paternal involvement
  • child's development
  • work-life balance
  • gender equality
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