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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children should stay in school until the age of 18. Others suggest that educating till the age of 14 year is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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It is often believed that it is imperative for adolescents to stay at
school
Use synonyms
 until they are 18 years old, while others ponder that 14 years of
education
Use synonyms
 is sufficient.
Although
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 dropping out early from
school
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 can provide economic benefits, I agree with the former assertion and believe that completing 18 years of
education
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 has an immensely beneficial impact on job prospects,
hence
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 providing better opportunities to prosper.
To begin
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 with, 14 years of
school
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education
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 is adequate for children, as per some people.
This
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 is because, the cost of extending the period of compulsory
education
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 is exorbitantly high, which is not practical for everyone to afford easily.
Besides
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, many families need their children to make economic contributions to their family income; leaving
school
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 and joining workforce earlier can be an advantage in
such
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 circumstances.
For example
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, according to a recent survey conducted in the UK, majority of the parents stated that it is for the financial reasons primarily, that children opt to drop out from schools early;
therefore
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, had it not been for the cost-saving features, the decision of quitting
school
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 prior to the usual age would have seemed preposterous.
Conversely
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, and as I opine that completing
school
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 at the appropriate age of 18 is more appropriate.
This
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 means that it provides better opportunities to enter universities or other forms of tertiary
education
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. Not only
this
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, it tends to offer superior employment chances as well;
for instance
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, in Japan, a great majority of students voluntarily stay in
education
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 even after the compulsory
education
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 years because of the aforementioned reasons.
Hence
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, it is for high-quality tertiary
education
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 and job benefits, that completing 18 years of
education
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 has become essential. In conclusion, it is frequently asserted that completing
school
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 till 18 years has become indispensable, whereas others reckon that quitting
education
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 at 14 years of age is more appropriate. Despite being unacceptable to some, I agree with the former belief and opine that completing
school
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 at 18 years is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 terms of providing better tertiary
education
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 and employment opportunities.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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