IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries should start using nuclear power as their main source of energy; fossil fuels (i.e. coal, oil and gas) are not going to last forever and nuclear power is the cheapest alternative. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #power #source #energy #fuels #e #oil #gas #alternative
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It is stated that nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 serves as the best option to replace fossil fuels as a primary resource to generate
power
Use synonyms
 for nations because it is affordable and sustainable.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay opposes that statement because it holds the potential to risk citizens if the nuclear being leaked and there are other alternative sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 available. Generating
energy
Use synonyms
 from nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 means risking the life of many organisms because of its leakage. The
nuclear
Replace the word
nucleus
show examples
 itself is composed of many radioactive substances that potentially create chemical mutations.
This
Linking Words
 biological effect may cause cancer to any living organism as they are exposed to its radiation. The event that happened in Chernobyl, Michigan is one of the concrete examples of where nuclear-powered
energy
Use synonyms
 had failed. The area itself had been isolated for years because of the intoxicating effect that killed many organisms. Aside from nuclear
power
Use synonyms
, other sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 can be utilized and serve greener options for nations
such
Linking Words
 as solar
panels
Use synonyms
 and hydropower
technology
Use synonyms
. Both solar
panels
Use synonyms
 and hydropower
technology
Use synonyms
 are sustainable and affordable in the long term. Many big-scale manufacturers have been working to provide efficiency and advancement for
this
Linking Words
 kind of
technology
Use synonyms
 as the raw materials are
also
Linking Words
 easily obtained. Giant solar
panels
Use synonyms
 have been deployed to many Indonesian lakes,
for instance
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, the installations in Jatiluhur Lake have provided electricity to three big provinces in West Java, Indonesia, and
also
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 saved the cost over more than 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In conclusion, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 holds the potential to leak and endanger the surroundings.
In addition
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, there are alternatives that serve the same purpose and are environmentally safe
such
Linking Words
 as solar
panels
Use synonyms
 and hydropower
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
The introduction could be improved by clearly stating your position from the outset. This helps to set up your argument more effectively.
task response
Try to provide more concrete examples or data to support your arguments, especially for the points about the affordability and sustainability of solar and hydropower technologies.
task response
Ensure that each point you make is fully developed. A bit more detail on the drawbacks of nuclear power might make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to link your paragraphs more effectively using appropriate linking phrases or words. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
essay structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
Your argument is logical and you have provided relevant reasons to support your viewpoint.
relevant specific examples
Good use of specific examples, such as the reference to Chernobyl and the solar panels in Indonesia.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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