IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#junk #food #effect #society
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of
Verify preposition usage
for
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 fast
food
Use synonyms
 has been increased around the world in new decades. Some believe that
this
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 has detrimental on community and it is better to be banned.
This
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 essay will explain why I strongly agree with both harmful and
b
Add an article
the
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anning of advertisement about
those meal
Change the determiner
that meal
those meals
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. I think introducing
these
Change the determiner
this
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kind of
food
Use synonyms
 to society is harmful .
This
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 because
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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 they can change
p
Add an article
the
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ublic mindset about how important is the healthy diet. Meaning that people
who
Change the pronoun
whom
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v
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the
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ictim of
these information
Change the determiner
this information
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 are going to consume unhealthy
food
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 more and more .
As a result
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, their eating habits will be changed to
t
Add an article
the
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ype of meals which are tasty, salty and affordable but not healthy. Indeed, consuming those foods under influence of the advertisement are getting more and causing health problems like obesity and high blood pressure. Clearly, impacting
this
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 kind of information on public health is harmful.
In addition
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, fast
food
Use synonyms
promotion
Use synonyms
 should be prohibited as they are attractive and ubiquitous. Those are designed ,by colourful images or offering cheap deal , to draw
a
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the
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ttention of customers and people are exposed to them in anywhere. In
this
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 way
Add a comma
,
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victims of
those
Change the determiner
that promotion
those promotions
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promotion
Use synonyms
 buy and try products and producer can reach to their goal which is their profit. Indeed, banning
those attractive bulletin
Change the determiner
that attractive bulletin
those attractive bulletins
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 can decrease the popularity as well as harmful effect.
For example
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,
s
Add an article
a
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tudy which is done in Australia in 2015, has shown that selling fast
food
Use synonyms
 dramatically decreased after prohibition against their
promotion
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. I think
g
Add an article
the
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overnment should prevent
from
Verify preposition usage
apply
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these
Change the determiner
this promotion
these promotions
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promotion
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, not only advertisement of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is harmful but
also
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 more advisable to be banned. Several reasons like changing public health and eating habits could be enough to me that think
promotion
Use synonyms
 of those ought to be banned.
Submitted by samineh.hashemi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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