Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this?

Multinational corporations are becoming more and more prevalent in nations that are still developing. A primary benefit of
this
trend is increasing employment opportunities.
However
, it
also
entails a drawback,
that is
, overconsumption of
electricity
. A major benefit of the increasing presence of multinational companies is that they generate a great many jobs.
That is
to say
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker when. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
when
such
a company extends its presence to a new national territory, its offices and factories increase in number. These offices and factories
then
need people to work in them in jobs varying from managers to peons.
Hence
, more and more people get jobs.
For instance
, as per a report by jobindia.com, with the advent of MNCs,
such
as Fila, in India since 2001, the employment rate in the country has seen a consistent rise till 2020.
On the other hand
,
such
organizations
also
lead to overconsumption of electric energy.
In other words
, as the number of
such
companies rises, they need more
electricity
to run their operations. Whether it is the machines in their mills or their air-conditioned offices, everything requires a great amount of electric energy.
This
increased requirement leads to overconsumption of
electricity
, and,
consequently
, the world may run short of it in the future.
For example
, a recent survey in Pakistan showed that, in the
last
five years, it has been very difficult for the nation's government to meet the
electricity
requirements of its multinational cinema chains, Orbit and Inox. According to the survey, the cinema groups take up approximately 8% (which is very high) of the
electricity
produced in the country each year. In conclusion,
although
the increasing presence of multinational companies in developing nations is generating more employment there, it is simultaneously overusing their
electricity
resource.
Submitted by oneness.1995 on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next: