Virtual reality should be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, continuous progress made possible the invention of technologies that we could not even imagine a decade ago, like virtual
reality
. It represents a very young discovery, so it can be difficult to expose all the possible arguments about that, although
this
essay will cover my personal opinion in regard.
Alternative reality
and the virtual universe are now a world in which every person can dive in using technical gadgets like visors, and so on. There are multiple and variable uses of this
technology, for instance
, it has been largely used in the videogames industry, but also
in creating a parallel reality
where they are projected everyday objects, shops and art. Despite its large use, it is a very new approach to life, indeed it requires more time to really understand how it is portrayed in the human being
mind.
Change noun form
being's
Furthermore
, thinking about using virtual reality
to develop therapeutic materials and mental health treatments represents an interesting and very ambitious project. It could represent the discovery of a way which finally
communicate even with patients who do not see the world like it is, for instance
, an idea could be to show
their fears and phobias to mental patients to try to beat it in a virtual contest and then
have the same results also
in reality
. Even though, the other side of the medal is that individuals suffering from mental illnesses, for example
schizophrenia or borderline disorder personality, could easily lose control of this
fantasy universe becoming dangerous for themselves and others since doctors are not capable of predicting or controlling what could go on in his mind.
In conclusion, using VR to develop new ways and methods of treatments is a challenge that is worth pursuing, although
more years of study and experiments are needed before making a decision so delicate.Submitted by matilderestelli.work on
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task achievement
Your response is fairly comprehensive, but some points need further development and examples for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow. Some arguments appear a bit fragmented without clear connections.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples. Personal anecdotes or case studies could make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
When discussing mental health implications, a more nuanced approach considering both the positive and negative effects would deepen the analysis.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the potential applications of virtual reality, particularly in mental health and therapeutic interventions.
task achievement
You have included both pros and cons of using VR in therapeutic settings, showing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, framing your arguments well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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