Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are many buildings that an aspect of
the
Remove the article
apply

It appears that the is unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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traditional
history
and under the law policy. While some people think that they should be destroyed and build a new
one
instead
. In
this
essay, I will consider both sides of the argument. Nowadays,
as a result
of increasing population, our living area becomes
more dense
Replace the words
denser

You have used the compound adjective more dense. Consider using the comparative form of this adjective.

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. On
one
hand, to develop some new buildings is necessary for our life quality.
For example
, tower blocks can contain many people to live in.
This
can solve the problem of living.
Moreover
, new buildings are more high level of safety.
For instance
, in the wake of advancing technology science, there are optimize technology to build up a construction.
This
can
advancing
Change the verb form
advance
be advancing

The verb advancing after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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our equipment and safety.
On the other hand
,
history
is important to our
culture
. Our tradition contains our characteristic figure which makes our
culture
.
Hence
, governments set up some laws to protect those old buildings. If governments allow construction corporations to develop new buildings
instead
of the old
one
which contains
history
.
Consequently
, we would lose our
culture
. The best example is there is an old market
place
which is built in the 1565 year, and
this
was the original market
place
.
Thus
, it is a valuable
place
which is historical. In conclusion,
although
our living
place
becomes
more dense
Replace the words
denser

You have used the compound adjective more dense. Consider using the comparative form of this adjective.

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by the population increase, and some people believe that old buildings should be locked down to replace the new
one
.
However
, I strongly believe that it is necessary to protect our
history
by law
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because it recorded our
culture
and tradition which is figuring out our characteristics.
Submitted by yeahkubi on

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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