IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed?

#obesity #today’s #society #availability #food #governments #place #tax #amount
Health problems caused by the excessive
expenditure
 of fast foods have assumed epidemic proportions all over the world. According to some people, it is important to impose a high duty on junk cuisine to discourage people from eating
such
 foods. In my opinion,
this
 will deter only the middle and lower-income groups.
To begin
 with, imposing a higher fine will make fast foods unaffordable to poor people.
This
 will force them to cook proper meals at home. While
this
 might cause them some inconvenience, it is actually good for their health.
However
, taxes will not discourage affluent consumers from buying
f
Add an article
a
show examples
ast meal. They will continue to consume it. That means increasing the levy on fast foodstuff will have only a marginal effect on its
expenditure
. Creating awareness about the ill-effects of fast foods is
also
 unlikely to be of much help. Most people who consume fast foods are actually aware of its health consequences.
For instance
, a survey conducted in Singapore, one of the developed countries in the world, revealed that people are compelled to buy fast foods because of their busy schedule even though they are aware of the health problems. Perhaps a better solution is to make healthy cuisine more affordable and accessible. One of the main reasons that increase the
expenditure
 of fast foods is that they can be cooked in a matter of minutes. Ready-to-eat foods are
also
 available in supermarkets. Many people are consuming fast foods because healthier alternatives are not conveniently available. To conclude, increasing the tariff on fast foods will only deter
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
low-income groups from buying them. If the governments really want to reduce the
expenditure
 of fast foods, making healthier alternatives more affordable and accessible is the best solution.
Submitted by nabilahothman.769 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: