IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary schoolsuch as reading,writing and math How far do you agree or disagree?

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In the twenty-first century,
technology
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 become an important part of human lives.
Technology
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 is associated with advanced
computer
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skills
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. Since it become a crucial skill,
computer
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skills
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 should be taught to elementary
students
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.
This
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 analysis will highlight the reasons why
students
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 have to learn how to use
computers
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besides
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 other primary subjects
such
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 as reading, writing, mathematics, and science. Our daily activities are being computerized in the present world.
As a result
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, people become more connected with
computers
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.
Thus
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, it is very important for
students
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 to learn about
computer
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skills
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 as soon as possible.
For example
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, in developed countries, learning processes are implemented in digital scenarios.
Furthermore
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, learning materials are
also
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 online distributed which needs good
computer
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skills
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 to access it. Not only used in daily activities,
computer
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skills
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 are
also
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 useful for student's life in the future.
For instance
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, if
students
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 have a high knowledge of
computers
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 and
technology
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, it will make them more adaptable to future
technology
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.
Therefore
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,
students
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 will have higher value when they are joining the workforce. A study found that people with advanced knowledge and good capability in digital
skills
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 tend to have a higher income.
Moreover
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, they were associated with high employment status. In summary,
technology
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 and
computers
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 are predominant
skills
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 in the present world.
Students
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 need to be more adept with the
technology
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 and get the benefit from it. To achieve a good understanding of how to use
computers
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,
students
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 have to learn since elementary grade. With a high knowledge of
technology
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,
students
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 will have better digital
skills
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 which will benefit them in the future.

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task achievement
Try to offer a counter-argument to show a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words to clearly delineate and connect ideas. Words like 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand' can be useful.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the significance of teaching computer skills in elementary schools.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear context and focus for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically structured and well-supported with relevant examples about future employment prospects and digital scenarios in education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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