Few artists ever manage to achieve fame, let alone a liveable wage. Often artists struggle to make meet for most of their lives. For this reason, some people believe that it is irresponsible for a parent to encourage their child to persue an artistic career. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#artists #fame #liveable #wage #struggle #lives #reason #people #parent #child #persue #career

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It is an undeniable fact that a lesser number of parents encourage their children to pursue an artistic career, due to a struggle in earning livelihoods through

art

Use synonyms

. So, some people think that parents should support and encourage their infants in

this

Linking Words

. I totally agree with the aforesaid statement.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, all human beings have certain abilities to create

art

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, they have some hidden innate talents, through these skills they can achieve fame over the world but these skills must be polished and encouraged at an early age of life. Because of these, they, not only more creative but

also

Linking Words

they can develop some innovative ideas to create

art

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Art

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acts as a motivation and inspiration to them.

For example

Linking Words

, if they encouraged at an early age,

then

Linking Words

they would create some marvellous

Use synonyms

art

Correct your spelling

artwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

in their later life, because of that they must earn some valuable amount of money.

In addition

Linking Words

to the above, artists are the ambassador of culture. It differentiates us from animals. People can learn about history and culture through their artistic

work

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, owing to it is an ancient means of communication.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the governments ought to support them by giving financial aid and enact some laws.

This

Linking Words

work

Use synonyms

, not only consumes more time but

also

Linking Words

it requires dedication and hard

work

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to create.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some stubborn argue that

this

Linking Words

money and support should be spent wisely on the other sectors

such

Linking Words

as health, employment and poverty. They think that if cultures and traditions are used to money-making,

then

Linking Words

they would lose their originality and would be destroyed. To conclude, the regime should add

art

Use synonyms

as a mandatory subject in a school curriculum. So, the hidden talents of youths should not be isolated.

Submitted by Harvey on Thu Oct 15 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

292 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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