IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times,
due to
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 high pressure from employers on employees at the workplace. So, a number of
people
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 think that the
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 working days should be shorter and the weekend
time
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 should be longer as compared to the current
time
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. I agree with
this
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 viewpoint because they can spend quality
time
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 with their family.
To begin
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 with, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 some individual who believes that they deserve a long weekend after working long hours for their company because they get a lot of pressure from their organization to fulfil their targets, during working days. so staff have to do a lot of
work
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 from day to night.
In contrast
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, a reduction in working hours can lead to improved family bonding. Many parents struggle to balance
work
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 commitments with family responsibilities.
For instance
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, around 50% old aged
people
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 can not spend a lovely
time
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 with their offspring because of their workload.
Moreover
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,
people
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 can improve their
work
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 focus. Studies have shown that working long hours can increase the risk of stress, anxiety and depression.
However
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, when individuals are allowed to have shorter working
time
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 every week,
then
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 they can do their tasks very well
as well as
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 complete them before the
time
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. It is a great way to enhance
work
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 efficiency.
For example
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, around 30% of international companies allow long weekends for their staff, So they can
work
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 very energetically. In conclusion,
although
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,
people
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 may be distracted after getting long holidays from
work
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, it is
also
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 important for the mental and physical health of human beings.

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task achievement
The introduction presents the topic well, but without a clear thesis statement. Make sure to directly state your position on the issue more clearly in the introduction for better task response.
task achievement
The conclusion should summarize your main points better and reinforce your viewpoint. Consider revising it to leave a stronger impression on the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure proper punctuation to avoid run-on sentences and misuse of commas. For example, 'the, working days should be shorter' has an unnecessary comma.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and transition words to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve coherence and make connections clearer.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear viewpoint supporting shorter work weeks with good reasoning.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your claims, such as the statistics about aging individuals and workplace stress.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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