IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school
A
school
 should be mandatory until the age of 18 and I completely agree with
this
 statement as it will reduce the child
labour
 and
also
 prepares students for the real world.
This
 essay will explain these reasons followed by examples. In many countries,
this
 problem of child
labour
 has risen and to keep it in control or diminish completely,
education
 must be mandatory until 18. Though the situation of poverty forces children to
work
 for their family and leave
education
 behind,
education
 will keep innocent kids by getting caught up in the
labour
work
 for a lifetime and will allow them to make a bright future.
For example
, in India, approximately 30% of children below 18
work
 under these circumstances and only
education
 can pull them out from
this
 obligation.
Moreover
,
school
 plays an important role until 18 because it makes adolescents ready for real-life which teaches them to communicate, socialize and professionalism along with the
education
.
Consequently
, they would shine brighter in all the fields after
school
, like sports, choreography, music or anything.
For instance
, as a survey done by the Times
last
 year showed that 3 out of 10 dropped out kids lack confidence and maturity when it comes to their
work
 in all the professions. In conclusion, in order to reduce
labour
work
 and help children pursue their career, the
education
 provided by
school
 should be mandatory. It helps them to not
work
 illegally and allow them to progress in the future.
Submitted by Pooja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peer pressure
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Neglect
  • Abuse
  • Supervision
  • Anti-bullying measures
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Dominance
  • Cyberbullying
  • Anonymity
  • Digital devices
  • Enforcement
  • Cultural tolerance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: