Many people think that the behavior of professional sportsmen off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

There are some people who reckon that showing a good and respectful personality off the field is not an essential thing for sportsmen if they are great players .
This
essay does not agree with that notion , because showing sportsmanship and having honourable character is crucial .
Moreover
, if you don't have any positive characteristic features as a sportsman, you can affect the youngsters in a horrible way .
In other words
, Every young talent has an idol , and their acts depend on him too .
For instance
, in the 1990 World Cup, Maradona had a positive drug test , after that test so many wonder kids were wasted in Argentina .
Furthermore
, doing things , which is out of sportsmanship, has some awful effects on sportsmen's performance too . To put it differently , drinking some alcohol before the match or not joining the training sessions makes your
overall
rating worse and maybe you can be banned .
For example
, in 2014 , Jon Jones , a professional MMA fighter , lost his championship and was fired from MMA for 2 months because of threatening some fans with a gun .
To sum up
, everything that has been stated so far , I am of the opinion that being a good man outside of the sports arena has a lot of beneficial things for any aspect.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas with more detailed examples and reasoning to fully elaborate on your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. For instance, the phrase 'doing things , which is out of sportsmanship' could be more clearly and concisely written as 'engaging in unsportsmanlike behavior'.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and argues against the notion that off-field behavior is unimportant.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • media-driven
  • publicized
  • public opinion
  • societal norms
  • brand representation
  • sponsors
  • inappropriate behavior
  • team dynamics
  • morale
  • personal accountability
  • public image
  • career and legacy
  • off-field behavior
What to do next:
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