IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #home #be #case #development
Having a property is the top choice than renting outside in some areas. I think
that is
 because of the
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 in a country and I believe that it has many advantages. Cultural takes a key role in society. People are influenced in many aspects, including religions, families, and even properties.
In particular
Add a comma
,
show examples
places, owning
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
property not only represents the ability and wealth of a person but
also
 shows the responsibility to a family.
For example
, in Taiwan, one of
c
Add an article
the
show examples
riteria for parents to agree their children’s marriage is seeing your partner having a
house
 or renting. It means you have the ability to offer a place to
star
Correct your spelling
stay
show examples
 and settle down a family.
As a result
, people are saving money to buy a
house
 as their life goal to fit in the expectation of their parents and society. The concept brings lots of benefits to us.
Firstly
, people have a sense of security in their own
house
.
Besides
, they can decorate it in their wish and stay there for
r
Add an article
the
show examples
est of their life.
Secondly
,
s
Add an article
a
show examples
trong connection with the community will be built.
For instance
, my grandparents know all the
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
, and they always help each other. It
also
 improves people to interact.
Finally
, people will have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 things to worry
.
Verify preposition usage
about
show examples
 They don’t need to move to other places and pay the rent to landlords. Having a property can definitely make a positive impact. In conclusion, cultural is the main factor that
build
Change the verb form
builds
show examples
 the idea of owning a
house
 and it has many bright effects.
Submitted by a2993241 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: