The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The process of run-down
buildings'
Change noun form
buildings
show examples
repair in megacities all over the world needs a considerable amount of investigation. Some think it is better to spend
this
money
on constructing new apartments and road maintenance. I completely disagree with
this
idea and in
this
essay, I will explain my view. It is generally acknowledged by several individuals that the modern world needs to be more reasonable about investments. So,it would be better not to waste
money
on worthless
projects
such
as old
buildings
' repair.
Additionally
, they believe it is more rational to plan for new
projects
which will be useable for more years rather than to waste our time and
money
on old
projects
which will be demolished in a short time after restoration. Today the world is going toward more profitable plans. As an example, "The Nature Bridge" has been recently constructed and is estimated to
last
for about 5 centuries, which is a considerable time compared to the old bridges. There is ample evidence that old
buildings
which can be counted as our cultural heritage, should remain intact for future generations. With the whole monuments destroyed, future individuals will be hardly able to find out about the previous people's culture and lifestyle.
Furthermore
, the amount of
money
needed to rebuild the vulnerable
buildings
is prominently less than making a new one. Considering that governments destroy old
buildings
and make new ones, a striking amount of budget will be wasted. A case in point is the cost of Milad Tower's construction which was as much as a whole year budget of a country.
Consequently
,
although
several people believe that spending
money
on new construction
projects
is more efficient than repairing old
buildings
, I am of the opinion that it would be more beneficial to rebuild old ones and save some
money
for other issues.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, avoid repetitive phrases such as 'old buildings' and vary your vocabulary. For example, you could use terms like 'historic structures' or 'heritage sites.'
task achievement
You should aim to provide more in-depth and varied examples to substantiate your points. For instance, mention specific buildings or cultural landmarks that have been successfully restored and their impact on society.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. For instance, your first body paragraph could focus exclusively on the arguments against restoration before moving on to the counter-arguments in the following paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Good job on clearly stating your position in the introduction and restating it in the conclusion. This helps in maintaining focus throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The use of transition words like 'additionally' and 'consequently' helps in maintaining the flow of ideas and ensures the essay reads smoothly.
task achievement
The essay provides a variety of arguments and examples that show a clear understanding of both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical significance
  • Urban charm
  • Tourism
  • Revitalizing the economy
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Environmental sustainability
  • New construction
  • Urban development
  • Infrastructure
  • Cost-effective
  • Long-term benefits
  • Immediate needs
  • Living standards
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