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Band 7.5

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

#people #money #factor #happiness
It is considered by certain people that for a happy life
money
 acts as an important ingredient.
However
, the majority of people oppose
this
 notion and are of the view that joy has nothing to do with financial status. I agree with the latter view and in
this
 essay,I will present a discussion with my consent. To commence with, people nowadays are working for limitless timings in order to earn huge
money
 because they opine that fulfilling the financial needs of a family may bring stability and happiness in their lives.
However
, they are forgetting that in
this
 race of becoming rich they are loosing on their family relations. To exemplify, a rich person who is spending most of his time on job commitments and travelling for it often gets time to have quality moments with family.
Additionally
, kids are hardly concerned about their presence because of getting independent at an early age.
Furthermore
,
money
 won't help individual to recover from a stressful situation, in those times we are in dire need of somebody who can talk to us and make us feel good.
Also
, it is people who make an occasion worth celebrating by their presence. Everybody must have family and dear ones who act as a sharer of joy and sorrows and look after you.
For example
, if on my convocation day my father is not present due to work pressure I will not appreciate
this
 behaviour.
Money
 can only get us a house but it's people who make it worth living. To conclude, I am of the opinion that in certain aspects of life
money
 plays no role.
Money
 is not the most important factor
although
, It can provide us with food, clothing, and shelter it's the presence of our family, friends and, relatives that completes our life.
Submitted by Shilpa Suri on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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