IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As a result
Linking Words
 of the increase in population, many people need a
house
Use synonyms
 or an
apartment
Use synonyms
 to live in. Especially in Korea, Most Korean think owning a home is an important goal in their life rather than renting. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is a positive thing. In Korea, there is a specific way to
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
Use synonyms
. Normally they pay huge amount of money as a deposit to the owner of the
house
Use synonyms
, and they make a 2 years contract.
Then
Linking Words
, they can live for 2 years without a monthly
Use synonyms
rent
Replace the word
rental
show examples
 fee. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the fact that they don’t need to worry about the
rent
Use synonyms
 fee every month is pretty good news.
However
Linking Words
, the thing is, they have to choose whether to extend the contract or move to another
place
Use synonyms
 after 2 years. Mostly, the owners of the
house
Use synonyms
 or the
apartment
Use synonyms
 want to increase the deposit, so if you don’t have enough money, there is no way to extend the contract even if you have loved that
place
Use synonyms
. Because of
this
Linking Words
 situation, the price of the
house
Use synonyms
 or the
apartment
Use synonyms
 gets expensive every year, and a lot more people would not be able to buy their own
place
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, If the price of the
house
Use synonyms
 is getting higher than now, only rich people can buy the
apartment
Use synonyms
 and it could bring a phenomenon in which housing prices are becoming more and more expensive In conclusion, if many people buy their
place
Use synonyms
, the people who want to
rent
Use synonyms
 their
place
Use synonyms
 would be decreased and
this
Linking Words
 can bring the decrease of
rent
Use synonyms
 deposit.
This
Linking Words
 should help the people who just started to work or the people who have to move to another city.
Submitted by Hailey Ryu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: