IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Write a letter in response to the parent. In your letter, you should: • discuss and evaluate the issues raised by the parent in the letter • give your own views about teaching life skills and whether you think these lessons should replace other subjects in the curriculum.

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Thank you for your thoughtful insert regarding your concerns about the preparedness of
students
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 to face the reality beyond
school
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. I truly appreciate your input for the curriculum of our
school
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 about
this
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 issue, and after conducting some meetings with the
school
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 foundation,
finally
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 I am able to give feedback regarding
this
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 problem. It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. I fully understand your worries about the practical life
skills
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 that
students
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 might lack once they leave the house, especially with your
children
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 who still could not live without any supervision from adults after graduating from high
school
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.
However
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, our curriculum has already been focusing on teaching the
students
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 about their academic knowledge, and we must carefully balance these academic requirements with the limited
time
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 available at
school
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.
Moreover
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, these practical
skills
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 could be taught at home with the parents, where the
students
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 could
also
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 spend more quality
time
Use synonyms
 practising doing the things for their lives with their parents. So, it is not ideal if the
students
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 have to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 at
school
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 just to study these
skills
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 at
school
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 and spend less
time
Use synonyms
 at home with their family. Looking at the examples you have given about your
children
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’s daily life
skills
Use synonyms
 after graduating from high
school
Use synonyms
, I believe that there are a lot of sources that your
children
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 can learn how to operate the things inside the house,
such
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 as YouTube, TikTok, and Google. Those sources could give your
children
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 a detailed description of how to do their practical
skills
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, even more detailed than the things that we could teach them at
school
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. With these unlimited sources of knowledge, I am sure that your
children
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 can survive in
this
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 society without any trouble doing their basic necessities. We will definitely review your suggestions once more and consider how we might improve our
students
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 with the
skills
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 they need from
school
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. Thank you for your valuable input regarding
this
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 issue. Your continuous support for enhancing the quality of
this
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school
Use synonyms
 is greatly appreciated. We look forward to working together to enhance the educational experience for all our
students
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Address the issues raised by the parent more specifically to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding and response.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a concluding paragraph that restates your main points and offers a clear resolution or next steps.
task achievement
Your writing tone is suitable and respectful for a formal letter, enhancing your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully separated distinct ideas into different paragraphs, which improves readability and coherence.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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