IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education.To what extent do you agree

#government #budget #arts #money #education
Governments all over the world are grappling with problems like rising unemployment and growing threats of terrorism. Poverty is still a major issue in many countries in Asia, Latin America and Africa. In
such
 a scenario, the argument that the
government
 should stop wasting
money
 on arts might sound logical.
However
, in my opinion, arts do have a place in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society. While I don’t think that the
government
 should waste a lot of
money
 on arts, it should at least adopt a benevolent attitude towards arts and artists. Contrary to popular belief, arts are not a waste of time. In fact, they are
also
 an industry with great potential to generate
money
. Performance arts,
for instance
, enjoy considerable following. A music concert or a dance show featuring an accomplished singer or dancer can create a lot of jobs. Arts can
also
 help sell a country as a tourist destination.
For example
, the Indian
government
 actively uses traditional
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
 forms to promote tourism in the country. India’s classical dance forms like Bharatanatyam and Kathakali have enthralled audience all over of the world and attract thousands of international tourists to the nation. The influx of tourists creates jobs and helps the local economy. Paintings and sculptures
also
 have huge commercial value. Millions of people visit museums in Spain, Italy and Holland to admire the works of masters like Vincent Van Gog, Picasso and Salvador Daly. While these artists are no longer around, their timeless works are still earning a lot of
money
 for their countries. Nations that promote their ethic arts and crafts
also
 tend to enjoy
g
Add an article
a
show examples
ood reputation overseas. To conclude, while it is true that spending
money
 on imparting education and building infrastructure is more important than promoting arts, in my opinion, the
government
 should still do whatever it can to promote and sustain arts. Art forms, especially those that have a huge following, benefit the national economy in many ways.
Submitted by reemmagdysherif on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: