IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#store #development
Nowadays purchasing products over the
internet
 is taking the place of buying products in the physical shop. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, there are many advantages that we purchase online.
First
, it is extremely convenient to buy things through the
internet
. To just give you an example, I live in a suburb of the city and there are only a little bit of shops in the local community. I have a full-time job and I need to take care of my two daughters. I couldn’t squeeze time to go to the shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 which are in the heart of the city. Online shopping saves me time. I may just go to a website, click several buttons, place an order in just a few minutes, I don’t need to spend time on transportation.
Second
, no matter the goods are in the USA, the UK, or in Mainland China, it is very easy to order goods from anywhere in the world via the
internet
. People do not need to fly to other countries to buy products. They may just visit their websites and place orders online.
Finally
, buying online is much low-priced than buying in physical shops. Renting physical stores to show goods costs a lot of money.
Instead
 of renting physical stores, online stores seller may only need to rent warehouses that should be much low-cost than the shops in the shopping mall.
On the other hand
, e-payment is used for online payment. Paypal, Alipay, Wechat pay, Google pay, Apple Pay, and credit cards are popular for online shopping. People might spend as much as
m
Add an article
the
show examples
oney they have or even overdraw their bank accounts.
Moreover
, security is another major concern. Some hackers may steal your credit card information and use some illegal activities. The lack of e-commerce security knowledge against fraud contributed around $6 billion in 2018. In conclusion, there are many advantages of shopping on the
internet
, but not all of the outcomes of
this
 revolution have been positive.
Submitted by Kylie LAU on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: